I am located right in the centre of my joy and I believe in perfect days. I believe that negative and positive experiences can be beautiful. My threshold for perfection may be low but “with all it’s sham drudgery and broken dreams, it’s still a beautiful life. Be cheerful, strive to be happy”.

Day 1: Sister Pool day, Dec 2021

Location: my mother’s house

Mood: sisterhood, fun
Context: I’d just come back to home (to Joburg) from KZN. I’d started my research job and decided to make an occasion of going to the pool, which no one uses nearly enough for my liking. We packed snacks and a speaker, blew up glittery floaties and my sister even let me make her up (by make up I just mean eye shadow).

We grabbed my new camera, which died 30min in and we frolicked in the water. We later made dinner and finished watching Lovecraft Country (for the first time).

We eventually had more (and we successfully dragged our mom along) but that was a delightful day. A beautiful December.

Day 2: Gallery day, August 2022

Location: Johannesburg assorted.

Mood: not all who wander are lost

One random Saturday morning I slapped on some red lipstick, grabbed my camera and and decided to check out a gallery show recommended by a friend at the BKHZ gallery on the Keyes art mile. It was so beautiful that I started whispering: it was like walking into an enchanted forest. I wandered around staring at the pieces and when I got hungry I stopped at Toasted (home of the perfect sandwich, regrettably now closed) for a bite to eat.

While walking back to my car I noticed a beautiful blue building across the road and realised it was another gallery-cum-art bookshop. Seek and you shall find! (I search for magic and magic finds me). I checked out their exhibits and wondered through their dreamy store. I got home feeling as though my cup had replenished, filled with beauty.

Day 3: The wildflowers!

Location: the West Coast, WC.

Mood: We finally saw the Wildflowers!

Context: In parts of the Western Cape (and the Northern cape) the spring is welcome by a spectacular carpet of wildflowers that bloom for a few weeks every year. In our 6 years of university, we never got around to seeing them in time. As a friendship circle we have an actual group named Namaqualand whose sole purpose was supposed to be coordinating our adult lives around seeing the Wildflowers. And every year we failed. This year my friend and I were free and decided 2 is better than none. We flew to Langebaan (well, to Cape Town then drove to Langebaan), dressed up for the flowers and literally danced in fields of flowers (special care was taken to not actually trample any). We posed, I creatively directed, we blasted Beyonce’s Homecoming even bumped into a real one life photographer who took the most amazing camera photos of us just because.

Not wanting to waste our proximity to the unbelievable culinary scene in the nearby Paternoster: we missioned there for a seaside sunset dinner. When we got home, she produced a bath bomb she’d packed for me “because you love baths”. I took a bath and savoured how blessed I am to be alive and to have found my tribe.

Day 4: Snyder Cut, March 2021

Location: KZN Midlands

Mood: unexpected, love
I asked him for a lovely morning and we got a great day instead. I’d been meaning to see World’s View all month and he said he’d come with me because he has a particular set of skills (the skill in this case was geography, I’d always thought that the compass on my bag was fake and purely decorative. Dear reader: it was not decorative). We “hiked” (guys, hiking is just walking hle) and he did so in shorts and sandals 😂. Afterwards he took me home and then said “but the day is just beginning”. So I showered and changed and he took me on a little Midlands roadtrip.

He drove sooo slowly that he had his windows open on the freeway (“precious cargo” was the retort). We started at the Highlands wine estate for a wine tasting and some steak. Now Buzzed (and full), we stopped at all the little art/craft shops and galleries lining the road. It was at one of these where I finally understood what he does for living because I overheard him explaining it to someone else. Fun embarrassing fact: I almost never know what my boyfriends actually do for a living. I get their titles and industries right and I remember all the work stories which give me a general gist but beyond being able to understand you when they complain about their co-workers (or describe an exciting project), I stop asking after the 3rd line of questioning if I still haven’t understood exactly what you do. My friends hate it. “he’s a scientist” I’ve been known to say or “uhm, he’s in finance but there’s an IT component”. Please Try not to judge me 😂.

At our final stop on the mini roadtrip we picked up some cupcakes . At home I switched on the heater, made some popcorn and tea and we ate the cupcakes while watching the full 4 hour Justice League Snyder Cut. Best day ever.
Ps: I love an impromptu multi-location shenanigan.

Nerds truly have more fun!

Day 5: Roaming Rome 2.0

Location: as above, Italy

Mood: Reclamation, joy

Context: I’d been to Rome before with my Stella in June 2014 when they we redoing all of the popular sites. This stop on my solo trip was a do-over of sorts. I highly recommend everybody see a popular city twice. The first time to scratch the tourist itch and a second time to enjoy the place unhurried. I saw the Trevi Fountain in all its watery glory and the day only improved from there. I found makeup and shoes in the summer sales, I was told by the man at the Doc Marten store that I had impeccable vibes. I lit a candle and prayed in a gorgeous random church. I looked at infamous but equally stunning statues and art. I drank wine in one of those picturesque unmarked outdoor cafes just as a travelling singer started singing Amy Winehouse covers in the square. I bought myself roses. I bought pasta of the day at a restaurant recommended to me by the beauty who sold me my colourful suede shoes (on sale) and ate it in the sunset shadow of the colosseum and people-watched as the street lights came on. A perfect day.

Day 6: Sunday Couch day

Mood: content

Context: we’d taken a road trip to the Free State to see our friend get married to the girl of his dreams (the 3 of us were proudly team groom!). We stayed with our friend in Bloem and after having spent a fantastic Saturday getting dolled up, eating great food, dancing and bearing witness to love surrounded by exceptional company, we took a different tack on Sunday. We ate breakfast and I asked them to please watch Abbot Elementary (season 1 at the time). We watched all 9 episodes nestled on the couch hugging various pillows. Content, full and happy to quietly share in each others company. At sunset we started the long drive home with absolutely zero regrets.

Day 7: Book Fair

Location: Johannesburg, assorted

Mood: seen, heard, truth

Context: I wasn’t sure I’d be sharing this one but I’ve healed enough that’s it’s a beautiful memory again (thank God). For my birthday my dear friend planned a day for me. He took me to a book fair/market in an old (fancy) hotel in the city. We browsed through 2nd hand books, paintings of the late Lizzy (RIP) and assorted crafts and stalls all while enjoying bottomless champagne.

Me: “I can’t drink champagne, I’m-

Him: “you’re not driving. Remember?”

Me: “oh right!”

Dear reader, hyper-independence is a trip.

I tried my hand at Instagram-modelling (nope) and lost my mind over camera earrings that actually flash. I then unpacked my brain and my heart (in that order). First I dove into the theories of Quantam physics (my latest rabbit hole obsession) which coincided with the announcement of the 2022 Nobel prize in physics winners (Google it). I felt seen and understood and appreciated. It was wonderful. And later, over dinner in one of my favourite places to eat in the city (late lunch/early dinner?) I told him that I loved him even though I really truly wished I didn’t (it’s complicated). And that I needed space to get over him (incredibly difficult to but necessary). I advocated for myself and my needs even though my hands were shaking. I am a person I trust because I’ve repeatedly proven that I can do hard things to protect myself. He gave me flowers that refused to die (they literally stayed alive for a mind-bending 3 weeks) and the gift of respect (and a bittersweet perfect day). We’re gonnabe OK, I’m OK now: And so is my heart and brain. And Quantam physics is still messing me up (in a good way).

Day 8: 1 January 2020, The day after the last Afropunk

Location: serene

Context: Solange finally came to Afro Punk (maybe one album too late for some of us) and thrilled us with her Texan Space Cowgirl rodeo. All the other Afropunk headliners made our whole entire lives and we stumbled home happy, exhausted and in a brand new year. I was willfully unemployed embarking on a much needed 1 month break following a whirlwind of a year (2019, my Saturn’s Return) and honoring my premonition that I needed to urgently get off the grid and prioritise being with the people I love. I woke up in my best friends house; we got up late, lazily bathed and ate leftover nachos, ribs and wings. Generally chilled. The girlies smoked and I let the summer sun kiss my face. It was another one of those rare moments where I was beholden to nothing and no one. I had nowhere to be.

I had been at either work or school non-stop in some capacity since I was enrolled in creche (age 4) and it felt dizzying and gratify to be free even for a brief moment. None of us knew what was coming that year. Thankfully. It was a perfect day of rest, summer, luxurious laziness and new beginnings.

Day 9: My 30th birthday weekend, Nov 2022

Location: Wilderness, WC

Mood: celebration, love, friendship

Context: I splurged and booked a stunning seaside villa in Wilderness for my friends and I to enjoy. The theme was 90s sleepover and the mandate for the only formal event (dinner) was to shock the people of Wilderness with our fabulousness. While it looked like I’d be in Wilderness by myself at some point, it all came together so beautifully and I’m grateful my people showed up for me. Especially considering that I’m a weirdo who loves birthdays but has a hard time celebrating my own (and we’ve established that my last one was bittersweet). On Friday night we had a lovely dinner and everybody dressed to the nines. The night included an unexpected serenade from the house band. The after party was a bathtub photo shoot turned disco that tickles me to this day.

On Saturday we went to the market, chilled by the the beach (at the bottom of an obscene number of stairs), had a braai and tried (unsuccessfully) to watch Clueless. I had to coerce everybody into the pool at sunset (I’m still not sure if it qualifies as an infinity pool but it was stunning). On Sunday we took a hike (my favourite form of prayer) and the magic struck: we found a rose farm that I’d accidentally discovered in my final year of medical school (2016) on my birthday! I never thought I’d see it again and there it was tucked beneath the mountains where is left it. We stopped at the lookout points between the mountains on our way back to the airport. It was a weekend I will never forget.

Mundane magic is still magic. I am a walking graffiti wall of experiences and it’s messy and beautiful. I hope you enjoyed these and that it has inspired you to think of your own perfect days.