I was going through my gallery and realised I’ve lived through some perfect days in recent memory. I think people are reluctant to declare days perfect. Perhaps my threshold is too low, all I know is: if you can’t identify them in everyday life, you’ll wait for a day that won’t come. These are vignettes of joy, sorrow, the bittersweet and contentment featuring friends lovers and in-betweens. (disclaimer: I own everything that happens to me)

Day 1: RTD 2015

Location: a farm in the Western Cape

Feeling: young, carefree

Context: I remember it as one of the most carefree weekends of my life. I had absolutely nowhere I had to be, nothing else competing for my attention and absolutely no responsibilities: no pending bills or assignments. We’d just had our end of block exams and were free to celebrate and drink and dance and sleep under the stars.

That weekend: we took a beautiful road trip, it’s a farm located an hour or 2 outside of Cape Town. En route we stopped at a small dorpie to purchase alcohol and apparently walked into a Mexican standoff (i didn’t see the gun but my friend got back into the car and I, reading her vibe, hurriedly followed suit). We pitched a tiny borrowed 2-man tent using the literal clothes on my body (in this case my boots) and nabbed a tiny corner spot opposite the Daisy’s den where all we needed to do to gain access to their facilities (warm private showered + amenities + mirrors + hair dryers) was to buy 2 giant ergonomic containers of slushy delicious drinks daily (yes it was alcohol). Our varsity student budgets and hearts were so happy! We wandered from stage to stage, grazed all day and balanced a wonderful near-constant buzz by cleverly spacing bevs. We saw new artists and met people backstage. I bought the most beautifully coloured bandana (that just happened to have a skull on it) and in the evening we got glittered up by fellow concert-goers and gently pushed our way to the front of the stage to hear The Kooks play the 3 songs we knew and loved (and others which we enjoyed immensely). Did you know that Milky Chance aren’t South African? I didn’t (until that day). On Sunday we remained horizontal as the chilled music of the main stage washed over the us before joining the convoy back to Cape Town. A beautiful carefree weekend, absolutely no notes.

Day 2: Shongweni Market, December 2020

Location: as above

Mood: Beauty, Joy

Context: I’d been living in Pietermaritzburg for a few weeks and this market had come highly recommended. It’s an hour outside PMB (& Durban actually, direction notwithstanding) nestled among the rolling green hills of the KZN Midlands (I became a lifelong fan of the gorgeous green hills of the Midlands that day). Driving that road I always wondered why the Garden route gets all the glory because, as scenic drives go: the Midlands hold up. In any case, there I was a solo traveller, a new resident. It’s so gorgeous guys! The food is divine, varied and fresh (locally produced). The fashion, flowers, crafts and vendors live up to the title. I bought a handmade picnic basket, a gorgeous bouquet, a drink and a meal and smiled contentedly at the distant Waterfall. I knew that I was exactly where I needed to be. I’d rescued myself and I’d found something beautiful. A lovely day.

Day 3: HAPPY belated birthday, Late November 2020

Location: Jozi, my hometown

Mood: appreciated, re/union

Context: I was in love and I’d just turned 28. I hadn’t met him in-person yet, but we’d been video calling and chatting and tweeting (daily) for months. First platonically (it was a freaking pandemic after all and we were not, at the time, occupying the same provincial real estate) and then in earnest. It was our first meeting and I was coming home to Johannesburg for the first time in months (again: pandemic). We were in a rare window between variants and lock down restrictions and travel bans were temporarily loosened.

We met at a cute café/pizzeria at the edge of Mellville, my mom dropped me off (I left my car in KZN and I’d needed to stop by the mall first). I was carrying 2 pairs of school shoes for his December fundraising effort for children. He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I was there. The waitresses (and I) swooned at the energy. “You’re here” he whispered excitedly, a big goofy grin spreading across his face. “stop looking at me like that” I blushed. We chatted warmly as it gently started to rain outside. I remember feeling warmth right down in my marrow. It stopped raining, the cafe was closing and we were still chatting, giggling. “Hey, let’s go Constitutional hill, there’s an art show and actual music show happening there.” he suggests. Authors note: Dear reader, I love a multi-location date.
“Do you have tickets” I asked?
“No but i just checked online and the tickets are still available, we can try our luck when we get there” he said.
“Leave it up to me. I’ll get us in” I replied with a wink.

He later said it didn’t count, that I hadn’t bought tickets, I’d just smiled at them and they’d handed the tickets over (he wasn’t wrong). We traipsed in, I bought the shots instead and he gave me his jacket when it started to rain again. We wandered around the gallery and cracked jokes about the figures. We took photos and inched slowly closer at each art piece. “you’re trying to get me drunk” he laughed, “I can neither confirm nor deny that” I replied smiling. We joined the concert goers outside, it was still drizzling and we danced (well, I danced he two-stepped). I had plans with my friend later, she had a belated birthday surprise for me. I was still with him. We agreed that I’d meet her at the venue. I tried to leave he pulled closer using his own jacket wrapped around my shoulders and he kissed me. He walked me out and kept kissing me. He called me an uber (turns out my next location was literally a kilometer down the road) and he opened the door to the car and didn’t stop kissing me.

The uber delivered me to my friend with smudged lipstick and an inractible grin . She had gotten us tickets to see BONGEZIWE MABANDLA! I spent the evening reunited with my friend and experiencing live music for the first time since the pandemic had started. We swayed and swooned in the intimate space as he sang gorgeous songs of love, longing and loss. He brought out Zoe Modiga and they sang the duet See Beneath Your Beautiful. I felt so seen and loved and appreciated. I went home with joy in my heart, happier than I’d been in months.

Day 4: Backyard beach day July 2020

Location: South Coast, beach behind my home

Mood: intentional, playful , fun
Context: I moved to Port Shepstone in the South Coast of KZN in February 2020, a month before COVID-19 changed our lives. The lock down was in full effect and extended to public beaches. About 300m from my home, over the train tracks, was the ocean (and residential beach). I bought my favourite local cupcakes and pizza, packed a basket of snacks and walked to the beach. I sat there and laughed and cried and read and watched the waves. I’d made a ritual of coming to the beach weekly to decompress after a busy work day but this was the first time I’d come with intention (and that intention was joy). It also marked the beginning of my playful relationship with eye shadow imbuing outings with a sense of occasion. I also realised it was the only time in my life I could safely get buzzed near a beach because I could literally walk home. Happy days.

Day 5: Manguzi, June 2021

Location: yoh, KZN is huge!

Mood: friendship, exploration
Context: I knew that my time in KZN was coming to an end and had a long weekend free. I hadn’t put anything in motion yet but I was making up my mind.

I had promised to visit my friend who was also working in KZN (back when I’d imagined I could travel anywhere in KZN in a couple of hours). Turns out he was closer to Mozambique than to me! So I drove halfway there, had a fun day at a gorgeous secluded beach located in a wildlife nature reserve (yes, I basically did a safari with my car) and then drove the rest of the way the next day. He was on call and then post call when I arrived on day 2 so I explored various (other) gorgeous beaches, took a tour through the forest (with a local guide: I made that Zulu man listen to Britney Spears, it was amazing) and my friend finally joined me and took me on a late afternoon hike (walk really) to a secret magic place known only to locals (we had to manually pulley ourselves across a lagoon using a palm/reed boat to get there). We then caught up over sunset cocktails by the banks (best pina colada I’ve ever had in my entire life) and enjoyed dinner under the stars. A roadtrip for the ages.

Day 6: Lamu beach, November 2019

Location: Lamu archipelago, Kenya

Mood: Heartbreak, Acceptance
Context: 2019 had been my Saturn’s return. A brutal year of dizzying highs and crushing lows. (I elaborate in Dreams & Contradictions). I found myself alone in Kenya having just ended a friendship and (metaphorically) clutching a rejection letter for an application I’d spent the past 6 months pouring my heart into.
Lamu is gorgeous, I’d been there for a few days already and knew my way around. I’d found the gorgeous beach resort near the sand dunes the day before and had come back with the sole intention to rent a hammock and cry. It was bittersweet: the sea the breeze the beauty the calm mingling with the salt on my face. My life was at a standstill, a crossroads of sorts. I finally read the rejection letter in its entirety and pondered what exactly it was (rejection aside) that devastated me. I allowed my self to move past the shock and anger of the recent dissolution of my friendship and allowed sadness to enter the chat. That was the beginning of my realisation that while medicine was my chosen career, I wasn’t about to travel a conventional path with it. The girl who stood up from the hammock at the end of that day was not the same girl who sat down.

I am forever grateful for that sad beautiful day of protected grief.

Day 7: Random day, May 2022

Location: my home

Mood: overwhelming gratitude

Context: I got home one random Tuesday and I looked up (literally). The sun was setting over the trees, I’d been living in my new home for about 6 weeks and had been in my new job for 6 months. A sense of joy overcame me. “I live here!” I thought. I did this, I walked away and survived (thrived). I walked up the steps to my door and realised that my primary identity no longer had anything to do with my job anymore. “I have a garden” (I walked past my herbs), “I am an artist” (I put away my camera and notebook), “I am someone I can trust: I am my favourite person” I gasped. I made some tea, wrote this post [Un]Made, and watched a movie. Nothing extraordinary happened that day. It was magical.

Day 8: I call this one “Malva Pudding” Location: My old home, sometime in 2018

Mood: warm, cherished

Context: We’d spent the day together. It mainly consisted of him following me around as I showed him some of my favourite places. We’d had Breakfast in Linden, gone walking through the botanical gardens (the wrong one, but it didn’t matter), he’d showed me how to use his camera, had an impromptu photoshoot in Parkhurst followed by a late lunch and ice cream.

Later, lying in bed, he looked at me smiling “What?” I asked. Everything was quiet. The golden light of the sunset streamed through the window of my 3rd floor apartment illuminating our criss-crossed limbs. I lifted my head from his chest, the subtle hazel in his eyes caught the light: “what are you thinking?”. He paused for a long moment. “This is is how loving you feels” he said meeting my eyes. I nodded for him to go on. “it’s like eating warm malva pudding on a rainy Sunday afternoon”. He shivered. I think I did too.

Day 9: My grandmother’s knees

Location: my grandmother’s house

Mood: restored

Context: my grandmother is the love of my life and she loves me how I imagine God intended. Deeply, continuously and without condition. Every day with her is quietly magical. Lately I’ve been trying to document our traditions in writing, annoying hey and making her think about activities she’s never had to explain it loud before. I help her make meals and store food or wash clothing during the day. I make her take selfies with me and every night she whips my ass at cards (a prolific trash talker my gran) and then we watch her shows and the occasional movie. She let’s me read in silence for huge swaths of the day and she is currently trying to negotiate with me to have a baby for her. Whenever I remind her that she already has a great grand baby, she says she wants mine.

The last time I saw her alone, I told that my heart was broken (I didn’t mention that when it broke I seriously considered making the 5 hour journey just to cry at her feet; something I would’ve seriously considered if it wouldn’t have scared her half to death if I had). Her response is that the baby jokes would cease. I love her and sitting at her knees in front of her warm heater is my favourite place to be. I feel happy and whole and loved. When my world doesn’t make sense, I find perfect peace seated at my grandmother’s knees.

Day 10: Rainbow hike

Location: South Coast, KZN

Mood: fresh, new, human contact

Deep in the middle of that first lockdown that lasted an age, I was homesick and new at work and beset with cabin fever. One of my lovely new colleagues effectively adopted me (her and her husband). They dragged me along on a breathtaking unmarked hike along the South Coast for some fresh air and (relatively safe) human interaction. It was a literal breath of fresh air. There was no one else around and it was amazing. They invited me to their home and we had a small braai just the 3 of us before I drove home feeling like maybe I’d found some lovely humans (this was later repeatedly confirmed through many more kind and beautiful excursions).

There are so many special days that just missed the cutoff. I guess that means I’m doing something right. Live music events have been largely left out in the name of fairness.

“Let everything happen to you, beauty and terror, no feeling is final, just keep going.” -Go to the limits of your longing, Rainer Maria Rilke

I’m a regular girl with a few gifts, a few blessings and a maybe even a curse or two (working on them all), maybe 50 people know my name and maybe 10 people love me truly and while I’ll always strive for more, that is enough for me. I am Grateful to my readers and for my life. ” I love you, I’m glad I exist”-The orange, Wendy Cope)

Which day was your favourite? Magic finds me on ordinary days that feel extraordinary.